My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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