I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
