She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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