I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
