Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
