If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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