i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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