Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
