if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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