I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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