Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
