Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
