after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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