I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
