I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
