what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize