Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
