Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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