There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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