:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
