If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
