I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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