Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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