This girl is more easily done than said...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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