Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
