Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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