So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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