i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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