My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
