That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
