Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
