in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
