why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
