his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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