...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
