and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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