3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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