He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
