the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize