A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
