To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
