You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
