you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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