They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
