Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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