I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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