We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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