i barfeds in our rink
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
