Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
