you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
