Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
