is your mom at the bar?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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