i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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