I wish I could teleport
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
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as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
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You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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