and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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