I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
