hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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