I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
