those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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