we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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