the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
