Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
