why didn't you poke me back
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
