dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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