Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
