You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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